


Well...shit....

by Nishinoya4Yuu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, Gen, It's okay Tanaka we still love you, Short & Sweet, Tanaka is a dork, Tanaka is an idiot, The sweetest idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-15 04:16:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13023054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nishinoya4Yuu/pseuds/Nishinoya4Yuu
Summary: Or how Tanaka ate 18 melon pan in one day.





	Well...shit....

~~The Great Melon Pan Caper~~

~~

Tanaka opened his mouth in a wide yawn and scratched his butt as he wandered aimlessly into the kitchen. It was Sunday and he had savored his extra sleep but now he required fuel to keep going.

He saw a plain white box sitting on the counter and eyed it curiously. After throwing a cautious look over his shoulder he threw open the lid. What he found made his mouth water. There were six fresh melon pan sitting neatly in the box. 

He knew they weren't his, but surely nobody would miss one? Right? He reached in and pulled out one of the delicious baked goods. It was still warm and his eyes rolled back into his head as he took a bite. The crunchy cookie-like coating crumbled in his mouth. The bread was sweet and it warmed him as it went down. It was pure bliss. 

God, that was good. Tanaka took a step away from the counter, willing himself to stop thinking about the rest of the melon pan. He should go shower or something and take his mind off of it. His stomach rumbled and his face fell into a sad frown. His melon-pan-high had faded as soon as he realized he was still hungry. 

He decided to throw caution to the wind and quickly grabbed a second treat from the box. He shoved it into his mouth as he ran up the stairs, hoping nobody would see him. It helped his stomach shut up, but he was still hungry. In his boredom the fact that there were 4 more melon pan sitting all alone and unguarded downstairs gnawed at him. 

In the shower he let the warm water run down his face and tried hard not to think about his favorite food sitting downstairs. They were Saeko's. She'd murder him when she found out he'd eaten two of them so he shouldn't make it any worse. 

Ooooooorrrrrrr....what if he ate the other 4 and then just pretended nothing happened? Hide the evidence and play it cool. Saeko never bought the melon pan. They were never on the counter. He'd just been sitting in his bedroom at his laptop all day. Yup. Besides, the melon pan were likely lonely without their friends. And said friends were in his stomach so he should just let them all have a party in there together. It was the kind thing to do. 

Oh my god! What a plan! Tanaka quickly toweled himself off and then wrapped the towel around his waist. He took the stairs carefully, listening the whole way to hear if anybody was home. The coast was clear though and he found himself yet again in the kitchen. Ahhh, so you've returned to the scene of the crime, Ryuunosuke? 

Welp. Now or never, right, Ryuu? He opened the box and grabbed a melon pan out of it. This time he took a second to savor the sweet smell before he ate the bread is 6 bites. Another hasty look over his shoulder and he picked up the whole box and hurried upstairs. 

Back in his bedroom he closed the door and then sat down at the kotatsu on his floor. He opened his laptop and started wasting time on the internet. He carefully positioned the box of baked goods on the floor next to him. It would be hidden if Saeko happened to come barging in. And he could quickly push it under the blanket hanging from the edge of the table. The perfect crime really. They should call him Criminal Mastermind Tanaka Ryuunosuke! They could write books about it! Tanaka Ryuunosuke and the Great Melon Pan Caper!

Tanaka mindlessly ate the snacks and suddenly he realized it was finished. He had eaten all 6 of the melon pan and all that was left was to hide the box, the last remaining evidence. He crushed it flat and then folded it over on itself and scanned his room. If he put it in the trashcan it was too obvious. He needed to hide it for a few days at least. He lifted the edge of his futon and shoved the flattened box under it. Sometimes he was scared of his own genius. 

Back at his computer the guilt began to eat away at him. Now that his stomach was full and his boredom had time to take over again he felt really bad about what he'd done. Saeko would know better than to think she misplaced a whole box of melon pan. She'd know what he'd done, even if there was no physical evidence. Oh god. This was the worst crime ever. She'd know....

He tried to find something to keep his mind occupied but in the end his guilt won. He grabbed his pants from a pile on the floor and pulled out his wallet. He opened it and counted his money. He weighed his options. He could just pay Saeko back for them. But then she'd get home and maybe want to eat one and there wouldn't be any left. That would suck, even if he did pay her back. He could text her and explain what he'd done and say he'd pay her back that way she could buy more on her way home from work if she wanted. That seemed careless though. Like what an asshole move that would be. 

Well...shit....There was nothing else to do. Tanaka stood up and pulled his pants on. He grabbed a wrinkled t-shirt from the floor and then shoved his wallet in his pocket and headed out. It was cold outside and there was snow on the ground. It was only early March and so his beanie and jacket were necessities. He was bundled up but so not ready to face the cold. Damn it. Tanaka Ryuunosuke, you did it to yourself. 

All his grand plans of staying in the house all day and doing nothing were down the drain as he trudged through the snow. Finally at the bakery he decided he should just own up to his mistake and pay Saeko back in full and then some. He purchased a dozen melon pan, and secretly hoped maybe she'd let him have a few of the extras. 

Back at home he realized he'd been caught as soon as he opened the front door. Saeko's shoes were sitting in the genkan. Shit. He toed off his shoes and pulled his hat off. He decided to leave his jacket on as an extra layer of armor for facing The Final Boss, Saeko. 

“Tadaima...” he quietly called out as he headed to the kitchen, clutching the box from the bakery. He thought maybe if he positioned it in front of him he could use it as a shield. Saeko wouldn't want to hurt the melon pan, right? The melon pan never hurt anybody. 

“Oi! Did you seriously eat them all already?” Saeko was standing in the kitchen with her hands on her hips. She didn't look angry though, she looked amused. Oh thank god. Today was Ryuu's lucky day. 

Tanaka decided not to argue or anything and headed straight for apology instead. He bowed at the waist and held the fresh box of bread out in front of him. “I'm sorry! I was hungry and I ate one and then before I knew they were all gone. But I bought a dozen to replace them. I'm sorry, nee-san!” 

Saeko laughed. And laughed. And laughed. When Tanaka finally peaked up his sister was doubled over holding her stomach. “Oh my god, it hurts. Stop it. Oh my god, fuck,” Saeko choked out between her laughter. 

Tanaka stood up and raised an eyebrow in confusion. What the fuck? “Um??? Nee-san??” He reached up and scratched his head as he set the box down on the table next to him. 

Saeko inhaled sharply and tried to catch her breath around her laughter. Finally, mercifully, she straightened herself up and wiped the tears from her eyes. “Oh my god. I have the sweetest baby brother. Holy fuck. Do you know what day it is?” She laughed again and had to put her hand over her mouth to prevent herself from falling into full blown hysterics again. 

“It's Sunday...duh....” Tanaka offered, not really understanding what the hell was so damn funny. 

“Oh my god, my baby brother is a moron. It's March 3rd you fucking idiot. Happy Birthday!” Saeko dissolved into a fit of laughter again. “Those were...for you....” she said through laughs. “You just...replaced....your own birthday....present....moron....” she lost it completely and collapsed on the floor. She pounded her fist on the floor next to her and wailed with laughter. 

Tanaka blinked at his sister several times and then turned on his heel, grabbed the box of melon pan and headed upstairs. He didn't say a word about the incident to anybody. Of course, he didn't have to. Saeko was quick to tell Nishinoya when he came over to visit later that day. And then of course, Noya was quick to tell the rest of the volleyball club. 

Tanaka wanted to remember it as the Great Melon Pan Caper. The moment when Criminal Mastermind Tanaka Ryuunosuke realized the error of his ways and out of the kindness of his heart set forth to right his wrongs. It was a story of redemption and it should have been beautiful, if not for the terrible ending. 

Everybody else remembered it as the time Tanaka sort of helped buy his own birthday present. The day Tanaka ate 18 melon pan. The day Tanaka turned 17 years old. 

Alternately it was known as the birthday where Tanaka was so sick to his stomach he spent the evening kneeling with his face in the toilet with Nishinoya perched on the edge of the sink next to him, chattering endlessly away. 

Happy Birthday ~~Criminal Mastermind~~ Tanaka Ryuunosuke.

**Author's Note:**

> So the story is my friend Jhoudiey had some issues with a person eating her food and somehow the conversation lead to the fact that Tanaka is a sweet heart and if he accidentally ate somebody elses snacks he'd replace them, for sure. And then somehow the popcorn from Jhoudiey's story was suddenly melon pan and I don't know. But I have no regrets. Thanks for letting me draw inspiration from your life, Jouds!


End file.
